Here is the fourth and final guest blog in this month’s series (if you missed the first ones you can read them here) from the incredible Pamela Windle of Smarter Change all about how to beat overwhelm and busyness.
Pamela is an integrated women’s health coach and a hypnotherapist who helps women to take control of their hormonal health and happiness, and feel amazing. She specialises in the peri-menopause and the menopause but has helped hundreds of women (at all stages of life) to feel better about themselves both inside and out.
Being a partner, mother and businesswoman, Pamela understands very well the challenges you might be facing right now in your life so hit the pause button and enjoy…
If they gave out awards for being superwoman, they’d surely go to you.
For all those extra hours you put in at your workplace, particularly when you were feeling less than great, but showed up and keep pushing on anyway.
For showing up at your child’s school governors meetings or community voluntary group that seemed like a good idea when you signed up but now just drains your time and energy.
For being there 100% when your children, friends, partner and ageing parents need you.
For doing the weekly shopping, cleaning the house, delivering a few gourmet meals, and somehow finding time to fit in a few gym sessions, run a 5k race just for the fun of it and been a sex kitten too…
Gosh, no wonder we feel exhausted by the time we get to menopause.
The problem is, in our modern culture, we’re rewarded with a badge of honour for being busy women and somehow juggling all these different roles and demands.
But we’re leading ourselves on a path closer to stress and burnout if we continue to push ourselves through the tiredness and overwhelm. We can’t ever enjoy optimal health and happiness if we continue to be ‘Burnt Out Barbaras.’
Today I’d like to talk to you about why it’s so bad for your health to stay busy all the time then share with you five easy tips that can help you find more time for yourself.
The dangers of being busy all the time
There are two main reasons why being busy is so bad for your health.
- Constant busyness can lead to mental fatigue, overwhelm, depression and anxiety, and a sense that you can never escape from the merry-go-round of life.
- Your body cannot keep you in optimal health when it doesn’t have time to rest so you start getting sick.
If you’re constantly putting much more out then you’re putting in, then you’re on the road to chronic stress which could harm your long-term health and also affect your experience of the menopause.
Whether you’re currently fighting your symptoms of the menopause or you’re yet to hit the perimenopause, you can still take action to reduce the impact of this stress and support your body and mind.
How to beat the overwhelm and busyness and rediscovering yourself
Here are five simple steps that can help you reclaim your time and start living life according to your own priorities, values and dreams.
1. Decide what’s important to you
In order to be truly happy and healthy, it’s vital that you understand what really matters to you and make these your priority. Make time for these things and enjoy every second as you do.
This helps you create the kind of life that you love and allows you to feel more in control, even when life gets busy. Remember- we all have limited time and energy so as much as we wish, we can’t do everything all the time.
For many people, family, friends and close relationships take the top spot, closely followed by work, or hobbies or education or something similar, but this might be completely different for you. Whatever you decide, it’s a good idea to pull out your journal or notebook and write down your priorities in order of importance to you. That way you can refer to them easily and check whether you’re on track.
A great way to do this is to use a vision board that can help keep your heart’s desires and priorities at the front of your mind. I’ll be running an online workshop in September that can help you create your vision board. More to follow on that soon.
2. Review your commitments
Do your commitments really light you up? Do they bring you joy? Are they priorities in your life?
If not, then it’s worth questioning whether it really deserves a place in your life. If yes, then that’s fantastic. Carry right on doing what you’re doing, perhaps finding ways you can make it even easier for yourself. If no, then you know what you need to do…
3. Lighten your load
Even if we can’t reduce our commitments and daily obligations, we can often find ways to make life easier and cut the amount of time and effort we need to invest in them.
Firstly consider if you can ask someone for help. Could you delegate more of your responsibilities in the office? Could you ask your partner to help more at home? Could you ask your retired neighbour to come and take your dog for a short walk during the day?
Secondly, consider whether you could find easier ways to do your chores. Could you do your grocery shopping online? Could you prepare your food in advance or batch cook so it’s ready throughout the week? Could you buy a cook box with the fresh ingredients you need then simply create the recipes they suggest? Could you even hire a local chef to help out? Or a cleaner?
Thirdly, work out how you can streamline your habits so any non-negotiable commitments become more manageable.
For instance, could you arrange days to work from home so you don’t have to commute and have more time to spend with the kids or your partner? Could you take public transport and free up your time to study that language you’ve always wanted to learn but never found time for? Could you walk to work?
These options might not be accessible to everyone, but they’re ideas which can help you get the ball rolling.
4. Fill your own tank first
You cannot offer support to others and be the ‘best’ wife, mother, friend or human being unless you first take care of yourself. It’s just like when they’re running through the safety information on the plane and they tell you to put your oxygen masks on before you help others. Self care is vital.
Again, knowing that you need to dedicate more time for self care and actually doing it are two different matters, especially when you live a very busy life. I suggest that you start small. Decide that you’ll start doing one thing for yourself and then commit to doing it regularly, for example, eating breakfast every day. Over time, you’ll notice how much better you feel and this small act of self care will become a habit.
Then once you’re happy with this, consider what else you can do. Perhaps start getting to bed earlier? Or drinking more water? Laughing more? Enjoying plenty of orgasms? Getting out into nature? Practicing yoga? Getting away from your desk to eat your lunch?
You’ll soon feel much calmer, more grounded and much more relaxed.
5. Find quiet time and space in your day
When we’re so busy, we often forget to listen to what we really want from life, or we simply can’t because of the noise and chaos.
That’s why it’s so important to find quiet time or ‘me time’ when you don’t have commitments and don’t have to do anything and simply be. By spending time in quietness and listening to your deepest thoughts, you can connect back to your female intuition and listen to what your heart most needs to tell you.
This will help guide you through the good times and the bad and help you live an authentic and fulfilling life.
I also interviewed Pamela earlier this year and you can watch the full episode of Indie Beauty TV, below.
If you have any questions for Pamela or need any further help, Post them below in the comments and I will get straight back to you.
If you have enjoyed this blog I would love you to share and pin it. Social share buttons can be found at the top of the page and the image below will get you the best pinning results.
While you’re here why not check out the other blogs I have written. Here’s one to get you started.
Loads of indie hugs and love, Rachel xxx